I know you're probably wondering why I named my page "I did it...for fear they might hate me." Well, here's the explanation. I have spent the majority of my life (until the age of 30) doing what everyone thought I should do because I wanted to be accepted, liked and trusted. I figured if I became the person everyone wanted me to be, then I will accumulate a mass of folks that couldn't resist me! On my quest to stopping this madness, I made some choices that the world, and those that I had been listening to all this time, would consider to be drastic, daring and down right dumb! I quit my job! I had a combined income of $100,000+, two nice cars, a 2,000 square foot home that is fully furnished and decorated to the nine, two blackberry phones with the latest and greatest apps on them, two cell phones for my daughters to include internet, unlimited calls and texts, 4 computers in my home with wireless internet throughout the house, gym membership, a dog, two kids that are actively involved in cheer-leading, dance, track and band, yadda, yadda, yadda. I say all that to say...I quit!
While we all strive to have these things and more, what the world doesn't tell you, is the cost involved in maintaining all these things. Not the monetary costs....but TIME and ENERGY. I would start my day at 4:30am, hitting the gym, come home and walk the dog, cook breakfast, shower, get my girls ready for school, walk them to the bus stop, come home and finish getting myself ready for work, go to work from 8am-5pm, leave work, get home around 6pm, cook dinner on days I wasn't too exhausted; having my family eat between 7-8pm and once a week, go to school afterwards getting home around 10pm. It was exhausting! My home wasn't as clean as it should have been, laundry was always piled up either waiting to be washed or folded and put away. I was always exhausted and spent weekends running around trying to catch up on what I didn't have time to do throughout the week. I didn't help my children with homework because I had no energy by the time I did sit down. We ate out alot!...sometimes all three meals in a day! I was in the gym but steady in my weight because I ate so horribly. And what was the purpose in doing all this? So I could accumulate "things" to show people how happy I am?
Let me share with you the greatest achievement we can have in life....RELATIONSHIPS! If any of you are followers of Christ, you know that He was relational. I am a follower and if I can only get this one thing right, I will be satisfied with only getting this one thing: relationships make the world go round. You have to be able to relate to folks in everything you do. At the gas station, grocery store, on the job, at school, at home, with your family, friends and relatives; even with strangers. I am done looking at obtaining stuff instead of valuing the relationships that I have. Phones, computers, cars, houses aren't worth anything if nobody is looking.
The purpose of this blog is to keep you abreast of how I am going to manage to live on one income and maintain my joy. With all the things I've accumulated and must now let some of those things go, I want to see how "bad" it really is. I have to believe that the "bad" part is not being able to enjoy all the things important to you. I want to raise my children myself. I want to attend all the school events on time. I want to cook down home meals three times a day for my family and myself. I want to have a spotless home to sit in and admire and enjoy. I want to take refuge in the things that matter: family, love and the peace which passeth all understanding. As I go back to the basics, join me on this blog and see the ups and downs of choosing to NOT keep up with the Jones'. I am betting the simpler my life is, the more joy and peace I'll have. Let's watch what happens!
It has accured to me that in reading this you are displaying some anger in the way that life is treating you. Fear not about that and take this one jewel that I can give you.While relationships are important there is yet one more thing that might be more important than that. I will let you in on a little secret it is focus that is more important than alot of other things. Just think with out it you can never really have a great relationship. Even Jesus Christ himself had to revel in this attribute for without focus he would have never made it out of the wilderness. With out focus we could never stand to be in the very presence of our loved one's. So in closing I do get that you have to have relationships and material things are but shallow tombs that we build up but never lose focus on what it is you truly want... :)
ReplyDeleteI can agree with what you are saying about focus. You are correct. You must be able to focus on what it important to you.
ReplyDeleteWOW! I know that I'm reading this blog almost a year later. But, God's timing is perfect timing. I understand exactly how you feel. All my life I've done things to get the approval of others more particularly my family. I wanted to prove to them that I could live the life of my dreams so I thought. Like you I have what some people would call the American dream....two children who are active, 5,000 sq ft home, two nice cars and a lot of other "things" that people assoicate with the world's success. But, now that I am 35...none of things are as important to me as my time and my realationships with my heavenly father and those whom God has placed in my inner circle. I've been talking to my husband about me not going back to work b/c I don't want to be sooo busy that I miss the true meaning of life. I'm tired of being too tired to take care of myself such as working out on a consistent basis and taking care of other things. I'm soo busy that I had to hire someone to clean my house and it still doesn't stay as clean as it should..If you did not post this blog for anyone but me...I want you to know that I know exactly what you're talking about. Thank you for allowing God to speak through you.
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